Novel Excerpt: Governing Desire

On a charged night in a royal court in Southern Africa, a Queen enters the private chamber of a King and what follows is less seduction than negotiation. In this novel excerpt, South African writer and development practitioner Yandiswa Xhakaza draws from a larger manuscript that wrestles with colonisation, patriarchy, ancestral memory and the spiritual laws governing power and lineage. Through erotic tension and deliberate dialogue, she looks at how desire is transmuted, restrained and reclaimed as women and kings struggle to free themselves from inherited scripts.

Hard will Do

"What is your preference?"

Her nightdress was cream white, transparent with a subtle flow that reached the ground; she looked inviting, her body illuminated sparkling glitters of pheromones. She used the back door to enter the King’s private court. The elderly women had arranged for the door to be left unguarded and unlocked. It was not unusual for elderly women to request guard over the king's courters when they were up to something.

She waltzed in, silently handing herself over to the King of one of the biggest Kingdoms in Southern Africa. She stood at the door for a while, soaking in the presence of the King's most private space; she felt less like an intruder and more like a pleasant surprise. Her energy had settled in the space when the King acknowledged her presence and without turning to look at her. He asked…

To what do I owe this pleasure?

I present you with a piece of land that longs for your seed, my Lord.

He rose from his bed; carefully picked up his stick as though picking up his prowess & amassing power. He was covered in a large blanket that looked like leopard skin; his tools were covered, his thighs were thick, his legs large. His body bore scars; he was a man of war, a Commander-in-Chief. He stood from afar, with a smirk on his face, in utter disbelief that a woman of her calibre had delivered herself on a silver platter to be embraced and experienced by him.

I am honoured; he lowered his head in reverence to her. He invited her to take a few steps closer. The closer she got, the more potent the energetic field became, and the more charged the energy. He extended his hand to her, almost to catch her from completely getting lost in his orbit.

Welcome to this sacred space Ndlov’kazi, I am pleased to meet you here. I am nervous; a rare emotion I haven't felt in a long time.

I am here to serve you Nkos’yam. What do you need?

Tenderness, nurture, pure love.

They were both standing when she asked, “Would you lie on your back my Lord?”

He pulled her closer to his body; the King was large. He dropped his head to reach her lips. He held her face delicately as he kissed her. The kiss was long and gentle, tender and nostalgic, feeling like an old reconnection. He sank deeply into the moment. He picked her up like a toothpick and gently laid her on her back in his lofty bed.

Approaching him with the reverence of a King, she skillfully got him to lie down on his back; she locked eyes with him to communicate her longing for him. She whispered in his ear, “My King, will you rest and allow me to tend to you.” He took a deep sigh as though to absorb the invitation and allow himself to rest and receive.

She dropped her chest, delivering her breasts to his lips, and like an infant, he sucked all the nurturing out of her breast. She caressed and brushed his head and neck, allowing him to do with her as he pleased. He knew what he needed, and she had it on offer, she was intentionally catering herself to him. Her moaning was provocative; he reached out for her face to kiss her; he seemed to really enjoy kissing her. They kissed for a long time; he carefully rubbed her thighs, moving to her buttocks. His hands were large and hard, not rough; he was delicate, threading with respect, whilst allowing himself to receive what she was offering. He rose to the top, a huge towering figure casting a cloud over her. She was an indulgence, the kind the King wanted to eat with his hands not utensils.

He rubbed her cheeks, almost to acknowledge her face as a feature. He strangled her neck, as though to check if this was permissible, he brushed and licked her breasts in a way that was beautiful to watch. His tongue was large, he used it to lick her navel, teasing his way to his destination. His hands settled on her hips but moved between her inner and outer thighs, stroking her gently. He occasionally stood back as though to admire his hunt. He looked at her naked body and found himself helplessly kissing her again. It’s as though he could not believe his eyes.

He moved his head down, gently opening her legs to attend to her inner sanctum, it was as though he had said a little prayer, asking God to bless the food he was about to eat as she heard him silently say “Amen”.

He was structured and deliberate with each lick; the pointedness of his tongue was targeted to certain spots, and when he relaxed his tongue, he was attempting to give her a different experience. He was skilled. Her body could not contain the pleasure and she closed her legs, attempting to protect herself from herself.

He reached out to her and gently whispered in her ear, “Allow yourself to experience the pleasure Ndlov’kazi”, he pleaded with her.

He took time with her; penetration was not actually his destination. He made her beg for it but he was intent on getting her to experience other forms of pleasure that she wasn’t familiar with.

She shocked herself into shame when she realized that her destination was penetration. She had heard stories of kings' tools, their size, and their overall performance, and the curiosity for that experience was robbing her of the new experience on offer.

When the King finally yielded, she felt his penetration in her belly button. Large yet gentle and careful, as though aware of its magnitude, he was sensitive to this new terrain.

“Ukahle?” He checked to see if she was okay.

He moved gently, she asked for harder. He knew she needed the warrior in him but feared that it may cause rapture; it’s a side of him he thought inappropriate for the woman.

Subdue me, she gently whispered. He responded to her insistence and proceeded to warn her,

“Ang’funi uk’limaza” (I don’t want to harm you).

A gentle subordination, she begged.

He succumbed to her plight.

He slid his large hand under her head, holding it as though to prepare her and soften the blow for the penetrating feeling of his weapon of destruction. The unanimous loud breath of pleasure that followed the penetration carried a heavy weight, and the screams of pleasure sent waves of erotica throughout the room. It was electrifying.

It was her seizures that stopped him in his tracks; he thought it was a medical matter, she assured him, it was her body’s response when she had reached certain pleasure heights.

The tremors tell tales Ndlov’kazi, why is your body holding your pleasure hostage?

I’m not sure where the resistance comes from.

Were you raped Ndlov’kazi?

The question was unexpected but landed so gently that an honest response flew out of her mouth, “If I was, I do not remember my Lord.”

You are such a delicate woman and yet you require such intensity; subtle doesn’t pleasure you does it?

Not as much, no.

I’m intrigued by your preference for rough when you are so tender. You find pleasure in pain?

Sometimes. What’s your preference?

Gentle helps me to stay in my body, rough throws me out and I can lose myself completely.

So you play it safe?

With certain people, yes. Those I respect and honour.

That is not my preference

So I see.

He pulled her towards his chest and there, she laid her head and said, “Ngiyabonga Zulu”, to which he responded, “Kubonga thina.”

She said this incantation and released her attachment to the emotions she felt:

“Desire has danced and now is still.

Pleasure has passed and now is peace.

The seed has risen to spirit.

The fire now fuels my throne.”

Thank You for the Romance!

"Gentle does it"

His Majesty!

King of the Zulu Nation!

iNkunz’Malanga

It has been an honor working with you my Lord. I would like to thank you for your wisdom, thank you for your temperament, your openness, My King. Thank you for the intimacy.

I would like to honor the boy who carries such a heavy mantle and say Bayede!!!

Wena weNdhlovu!

You are a Warrior, My King, your scars give me so much courage knowing that you are standing on business.

Wena kaBhejane!

Ndaba ongalingani nantaba!

Bayede wena weNdlovu!

Bulelwa had channeled an Ancient Queen; she stood firm and bold, praising and worshipping the King, raising his name up high. She looked the King square in his eyes, in reverence and honor of his self-control.

I stand in agreement with the Matriarch of this Kingdom when she informed me that the sitting King is indeed King. You rule over nations Zulu; I bow under you my King.

I stand opposed to the Matriarch of this Kingdom when she said that, chief, among the King’s weaknesses is his lack of self-control. You are a man of integrity, my Lord. You are well on your way out, transcending lust, anger and lack of self-control. UzobaliDlozi elihle my King and what Jesus did for all of humanity, you have done for your entire Kingdom; you have initiated a collective consciousness in the psyche of your people my King. You have moved the Kingdom towards a new understanding: that violence is not the answer. The Kingdom will harness its tactical skills and deploy them strategically. A new consciousness has arisen, my King, and for that I say, “Bayede wena weNdlovu”, what a man, what a King, what a human being.

I know I laced my work with an unhealthy dose of romance, because of my affinity, thank you for playing along Nkunz’Malanga. You were tempting, you played a tactical game, I never got to call you iNdodana and yet we managed not to get that far.

I honour you.

Ndlov’kazi!!!

The King bowed his head in honour of her. Uncharacteristic of a King, he faced down and spoke from the depths of his heart…

What a beauty you are my Queen.

You are compelling, you are profound, you are a river of refreshment in my desert. Thank you for reaching and soothing the crevices of my soul. You journeyed with me to places I never had the courage to visit. Thank you for the tenderness and compassion. It always felt like you knew exactly what I was going through and you were just here to say, “Easy Nkos’yam”, I have never been handled with such gentleness, you have been tender towards me.

“Siyabonga Isilo sikaZulu.”

You surprised me with the romance, I didn’t know how much I needed it, it was fun playing house with you. I am interested to know how you discharged of all that sexual energy? It was dense, I saw that you struggled.

I experienced you in my imagination and transmuted the energy towards greater use.

How was it?

Words fall short my Lord.

Hhmmmm…

Is the charge gone?

Not yet, too soon.

How many times can you do it before you have to stop?

Anything more than once is not a release, it’s bondage.

Till next time Ndlov’kazi.